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Monday, December 31, 2012

A Year-Ender Self Assessment

As saying goodbye to 2012, I thought of doing a self-assessment to welcome 2013.

MY YESTERDAY, TODAY AND TOMORROW – A year-ender self-assessment.

Anyone who says that life is a bed of roses is living a lie.  And a liar, I am not!  Truthfully, for the past many years, my life has not been a bowl of cherries either.  2012 of course added a year to my chronological age  – but I’d like to think –wiser;  a positive character trait which eluded me decades ago because I cannot “learn” to be wise without experiencing failures, disappointments and frustrations.  However, failures can be a stationary vehicle to be wise.   Like everyone else,  we all have common, happy or sad nuances  in life:  the never-ending  wheel-like highs and  lows,  the triumphant small or huge  victories,  or the ( un)accepted  defeats,  smiles of happiness or copious tears.  Concrete proofs that we are humans.
Life is how you make or play it  --someone  said.  But life must always have a balance and harmony.  Like a violin which  cannot be played to make good music unless it has five (5) strings, or a guitar without 6 strings,  or a piano without  its 88 keys, etc.  It truly is up to me to make beautiful music, no matter the circumstances.    At my age with many years behind me, I have had many colorful rainbows and  have met unexpected dark clouds of storms as well.  Both all memorable as the other.

My rainbows are the proud achievements of my grandkids and their mom’s (Anne) much sought-after school teaching abilities, my  other daughter’s (Jade) stable and good  NY job,  my  being recognized  for meeting the high  demands of my current job position (my reward is being given more and bigger job responsibilities starting next year) , of  having a rather  good health in spite of occasional physical aches felt  here and there, my  having a peaceful home and married life, and finally answered prayers bought about by strengthened  faith in God.   They complete the circle that make up my life:  family, career, health, home, and faith!

The dark storms  were of  siblings’, relatives  and friends’  death, of a couple close to me married for a long time, yet decided to separate ,  of disappointments over situations I cannot control or change even if I strongly wanted to.  But, I will patiently wait till the changes unfold the way I hoped them to be.  In these circumstances, I bow my head and still thank our great Designer as I embrace life.  I always end my prayers with thanksgiving and an earnest plea to have more rainbows than storms.  I trust He will do this for He is a generous and faithful giver!
I am impulsive in many aspects and can be  a poor judge of character at times.  There are people around me that I don’t like for no apparent reason and refuse to include them among my circle of friends.  I simply rely on gut feel which can swing both ways –to prove me right or  to prove me wrong.   Later on, I find them to be nice people after all!   Taking off my mask of pretense when dealing with them has gained me more friends at work, not because we share the same company,  but truthfully through the willful  altering of  my  attitude.      I am a person full of humor and easy to please, but conversely, I am not a pushover and can be very assertive when required to be.  However,   I have become  more insightful and discerning . I think things over before speaking out what could be  hurtful or annoying to others.   But repeated offense against me will cause a name to disappear from my thoughts and heart.

I used to be an impulsive shopper.   Money may come in fast but it flies out of my wallet faster!   But now  before letting go of my hard-earned cash or hard plastic, I ask myself first:  Do I really need this?  Can I do without it?  Will it be a wise buy? In most instances, asking these questions save me from unnecessary spending. Therefore, I resolve to always   talk to myself this way.  Uncle Sam’s current recession has not affected my job.  But it is better to  be a wise spender in 2013 and beyond.  Of course, I will continue to take care of my usual  financial responsibilities, but spending less on useless things will make saving for rainy days easier for me.
Facebook and becoming a DYCI member paved a way for me  to meet new internet friends from various places.  I have only seen their faces and “heard” their voices through FB.  A few I have had telephone conversations with.   But even if we all differ with unique natures , most of these “net” friends  share a  united purpose of supporting and loving  our favorite tandem.   The driving force of the DongYan reel and real loveteam  made me a giddy fan all over again.   I am thrilled and excited when reading, viewing, and  hearing about the “formidable union” of DD & MR.   Moreover,  being kept  abreast of  their projects and  their daily whereabouts, romantic or otherwise,  whether  true or not,  whether fact or fiction imagined by fertile minds are delightful  enough for me.      So will they soon hopefully end up with each other in marriage?  This is a 24$  question  that remains to be delightfully answered, or undecidedly  left hanging till who knows when---until the answers fall in,  everyone’s  guess  is as good as mine!

I know that the richest people are not always the happiest, and the happiest people do not always have everything they want.   Therefore,   accepting  what life has given me so far,   or what came my way –the good and not-so-good, I make the most out of them.   This includes  occasional rugged  bumps of disappointments  that I have met-- perhaps for a good purpose,    to serve as a valuable  lesson,  or perhaps  to test my soul’s strength and  limitations.  I view my jar of life as being half-full, instead of being half- empty.  I dwell not on what I have lost, but revel on what I have gained.  I will never allow the small stuff to derail my life’s direction I have charted.  Yes, life is not a bed of sweet roses, but I have managed and chose to cast these thorns aside.  New thorns may continuously pop up, but I will never tire to pick them out and throw them away.  After all, practice makes perfect!
Finally, planning is now the newest facet in my daily life because  am not  a serious planner.  I casually  just  take things and situations as they come.   So  to welcome the new year, I have made  plans for 2013.   These are  not resolutions  only  big and small  plans:    Taking a much awaited trip back to Manila for DYCI  and to bond with my remaining family there, to  shed unwanted pounds and bulges with honest determination,   to really eat healthier foods  to keep my  health in check, to save even  a small portion of my income, and  to be more active in my chosen church.  These make up my priorities.   And making them all happen is definitely up to this writer  --me!

Fast forward to my visualized ideal“ Tomorrow”.  I anxiously  look  ahead to a year that I can just relax--  travel and fly to  interesting  places with Rick and my grandkids  instead of routinary contemplating on  the waiting  tasks  at  work.   But until those relaxing- easy- days become a welcome reality,   the M-F  6:00 a.m. continuous loud ringing of my bedside alarm clock  will still be quickly pressed to abruptly silence it.  My eyes and heart will then open to welcome another challenging day and thank God for the new morning.  I  will then get ready to accept what the Great Designer  has planned for me.  It is another working day as I drive out and head to my office cubicle.  My Tomorrow is still to come, but my  “present” which is a also a gift is here to be enjoyed!   And I’ll choose to start my present with a smile so that when my Tomorrow comes, it will be ushered in filled with joyous, infectious laughter!!   I trust Him that my most awaited Tomorrow  will turn, someday, into my Present.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Health Concerns

For a long time now, I have been experiencing acid reflux or GERD.  Unfortunately, the common relief prescriptions are not exactly welcomed by my body --I have allergic reactions to them which makes me itch (but no rashes).  Finally, a liquid solution was the last prescription, which worked, but the taste is mildly unpleasant for my taste buds.

So, upon the advice of my family doctor, I underwent an endoscopy procedure today which kept me tensed since yesterday up to this morning until I was in the endoscopy center itself.  I was in at 2:00 pm and out by 4:00 pm. The preparation was longer than the procedure itself.    Thank God the whole experience was not as frightful as I imagined it might be.  

On Wednesday, I will get to know the results of what my gastro doctor "saw" inside my body.  I pray it is not that bad.

I return to work on Monday, afternoon.

I thank Him especially for this day and for  my entire 2 week vacation which will end tomorrow, Friday.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Spending a Well-Deserved Vacation

Today, is the 2nd of a 9.5 vacation days that I have scheduled for this year.  I just had to use these leaves --or lose them for good!

Many plans are written down to spend this vacation wisely: organize my recipe collections, organize my walk-in room (where I have clothes in hangers, or folded in shelves), do a winter-cleaning of my hard copy paper documents on various topics  stored  in different places inside the house, and do some travelling with Rick.

The weather on my first day vacation was not too cooperative, though.  Snow unexpectedly came yesterday, although the sun is smiling brightly today.  And when snow is all around, my interest to drive is dampened knowing the roads will be very slippery.

I loved the perfect chance to scan my FB and view what I may have missed.  Even if I log on FB daily, I don't really scan my site like a fine-tooth comb.  I read what seems interesting and ignore the rest.  Of course, I never fail to view any posts of my daughter and grandkids, and the DY group where I am the leader. 

I just viewed Migs' latest Nov. 24 piano recital. He truly amazes me because he never fails to impress me (or anyone)  each time I watch him play complicated piano pieces.  He has almost perfected the knack of piano-playing. Thank God for this talent. 




Monday, November 26, 2012