MY YESTERDAY, TODAY AND TOMORROW – A
year-ender self-assessment.
Anyone who says that life is a bed of roses is living a
lie. And a liar, I am not! Truthfully, for the past many years, my life has
not been a bowl of cherries either. 2012
of course added a year to my chronological age
– but I’d like to think –wiser; a
positive character trait which eluded me decades ago because I cannot “learn”
to be wise without experiencing failures, disappointments and
frustrations. However, failures can be a
stationary vehicle to be wise. Like
everyone else, we all have common, happy
or sad nuances in life: the never-ending wheel-like highs and lows, the
triumphant small or huge victories, or the ( un)accepted defeats,
smiles of happiness or copious tears.
Concrete proofs that we are humans.
Life is how you make or play it --someone said.
But life must always have a balance and harmony. Like a violin which cannot be played to make good music unless it
has five (5) strings, or a guitar without 6 strings, or a piano without its 88 keys, etc. It truly is up to me to make beautiful music,
no matter the circumstances. At my age
with many years behind me, I have had many colorful rainbows and have met unexpected dark clouds of storms as well.
Both all memorable as the other.My rainbows are the proud achievements of my grandkids and their mom’s (Anne) much sought-after school teaching abilities, my other daughter’s (Jade) stable and good NY job, my being recognized for meeting the high demands of my current job position (my reward is being given more and bigger job responsibilities starting next year) , of having a rather good health in spite of occasional physical aches felt here and there, my having a peaceful home and married life, and finally answered prayers bought about by strengthened faith in God. They complete the circle that make up my life: family, career, health, home, and faith!
The dark storms were
of siblings’, relatives and friends’
death, of a couple close to me married for a long time, yet decided to
separate , of disappointments over
situations I cannot control or change even if I strongly wanted to. But, I will patiently wait till the changes
unfold the way I hoped them to be. In these
circumstances, I bow my head and still thank our great Designer as I embrace
life. I always end my prayers with thanksgiving
and an earnest plea to have more rainbows than storms. I trust He will do this for He is a generous
and faithful giver!
I am impulsive in many aspects and can be a poor judge of character at times. There are people around me that I don’t like
for no apparent reason and refuse to include them among my circle of friends. I simply rely on gut feel which can swing
both ways –to prove me right or to prove
me wrong. Later on, I find them to be nice
people after all! Taking off my mask of
pretense when dealing with them has gained me more friends at work, not because
we share the same company, but
truthfully through the willful altering of
my attitude. I am a person full of humor and easy to
please, but conversely, I am not a pushover and can be very assertive when
required to be. However, I have become more insightful and discerning . I think
things over before speaking out what could be hurtful or annoying to others. But repeated offense against me will cause a
name to disappear from my thoughts and heart.
I used to be an impulsive shopper. Money
may come in fast but it flies out of my wallet faster! But now before letting go of my hard-earned cash or
hard plastic, I ask myself first: Do I
really need this? Can I do without it? Will it be a wise buy? In most instances,
asking these questions save me from unnecessary spending. Therefore, I resolve
to always talk to myself this way. Uncle Sam’s current recession has not affected
my job. But it is better to be a wise spender in 2013 and beyond. Of course, I will continue to take care of my
usual financial responsibilities, but spending
less on useless things will make saving for rainy days easier for me.
Facebook and becoming a DYCI member paved a way for me to meet new internet friends from various
places. I have only seen their faces and
“heard” their voices through FB. A few I
have had telephone conversations with. But even if we all differ with unique natures
, most of these “net” friends share a united purpose of supporting and loving our favorite tandem. The
driving force of the DongYan reel and real loveteam made me a giddy fan all over again. I am thrilled and excited when reading,
viewing, and hearing about the
“formidable union” of DD & MR.
Moreover, being kept abreast of
their projects and their daily
whereabouts, romantic or otherwise, whether
true or not, whether fact or fiction
imagined by fertile minds are delightful enough for me. So will they soon hopefully end up with
each other in marriage? This is a 24$ question that remains to be delightfully answered, or undecidedly
left hanging till who knows when---until
the answers fall in, everyone’s guess
is as good as mine!
I know that the richest people are not always the happiest,
and the happiest people do not always have everything they want. Therefore,
accepting what life has given me so far, or what came my way –the good and
not-so-good, I make the most out of them.
This includes occasional rugged bumps of disappointments that I have met-- perhaps for a good
purpose, to serve as a valuable lesson,
or perhaps to test my soul’s
strength and limitations. I view my jar of life as being half-full,
instead of being half- empty. I dwell
not on what I have lost, but revel on what I have gained. I will never allow the small stuff to derail my
life’s direction I have charted. Yes,
life is not a bed of sweet roses, but I have managed and chose to cast these
thorns aside. New thorns may continuously
pop up, but I will never tire to pick them out and throw them away. After all, practice makes perfect!
Finally, planning is now the newest facet in my daily life
because am not a serious planner. I casually just
take things and situations as they come. So to
welcome the new year, I have made plans
for 2013. These are not resolutions only big
and small plans: Taking a much awaited trip back to Manila
for DYCI and to bond with my remaining
family there, to shed unwanted pounds
and bulges with honest determination,
to really eat healthier foods to
keep my health in check, to save even a small portion of my income, and to be more active in my chosen church. These make up my priorities. And making them all happen is definitely up
to this writer --me!
Fast forward to my visualized ideal“ Tomorrow”. I anxiously
look ahead to a year that I can
just relax-- travel and fly to interesting places with Rick and my grandkids instead of routinary contemplating on the waiting tasks
at work. But until those relaxing- easy- days become
a welcome reality, the M-F 6:00 a.m. continuous loud ringing of my
bedside alarm clock will still be
quickly pressed to abruptly silence it.
My eyes and heart will then open to welcome another challenging day and
thank God for the new morning. I will then get ready to accept what the Great
Designer has planned for me. It is another working day as I drive out and
head to my office cubicle. My Tomorrow
is still to come, but my “present” which
is a also a gift is here to be enjoyed!
And I’ll choose to start my present with a smile so that when my
Tomorrow comes, it will be ushered in filled with joyous, infectious laughter!!
I trust Him that my most awaited
Tomorrow will turn, someday, into my
Present.
