Goodbye, Ditche!

                                                                                    November 19, 2009

Dear Diche,

How can I describe and reminisce about a wonderful sister in just a few simple words?  Not in a few words, I can't.  I can only hope that the following words will be adequate.

 

When Caying, and I were, I think,  about 9-10 years old, I remember we used to climb up into our bedroom’s high wall and peek into the living room, where you entertained your persistent suitor.   Caying and I remained quiet as we peeped and  I  recall being so amused to see your smiling, happy face  as you and your suitor joked with each other, sometimes even giggling quietly.   Your suitor was none other than Lando, who later on was to be your husband and father of your children.   Then, of course, you proved to be a steadfastly devoted wife, and a caring mother to our nieces and nephew.  I was not surprised that you became such a devoted partner and mother.

 

You did have quite a number of suitors then, and why not? Consider these: You  and kuya were the  “brainiest” both in school and in our family.  Physically, you were modest, very feminine, especially with your long hair which you always tied into a bun.  You were attractively slim, fair skinned, and, always very proper. As we say in tagalog “ di ka makakabasag pinggan”. 

 

People familiar with the “Sim” sisters said 4 of us were feisty, loquacious, and talkative…but.they also said, you were our complete opposite. 

You always laughed softly,  while the rest of us laughed loudly and boisterously.  We talked fast, oftentimes using colorful language; you spoke in a soft, mild tone, and would only gently raise your voice if extremely necessary!   Our fashion sense was geared towards what was fashionable and current style; your clothes taste was simple and ordinary, and to a certain extent, quite old fashioned. We liked attending parties; you would rather read a good book.  The list of our differences in attitude and outlook in life between you and us can go on and on and on…. You have proven true what someone said that “Sisters are different flowers from the same garden.”

During parties and gatherings, wherein you just had to be present, while the others fleeted to chat around with guests, you preferred to remain quiet and watched the happenings, and unless you were approached and greeted,  you seldom, if ever, went out of your way to start a conversation. Yet, you were not a total loner, nor a snob…you were simply timid and shy!  Of course,  you also had your own good and true friends.  But,  perhaps you just  preferred to keep a handful of  tested, quality friends.

 

When you migrated to the US, you kept in touch with us only through cards and through our eldest sister, Ate Josie, ,who was a constant traveler to the US and who became our source of news about your new life in the United States.  During those early days, there was no email for quick connections,  nor cell phones for convenient chats.    But in spite of the distance, you remained ever faithful and thoughtful—and never failed  to send special occasion cards during birthdays, Christmas, Easter, and so on. You also never forgot to find out how my own children were and what was going on with my own life.  The change in lifestyle here in the US did not prevent you from sending handwritten letters  with your familiar signature “Ditch” --as you called yourself to us– just to keep in touch and to let us know you cared!

 

During the late 90’s, I also remembered the time when you wanted to organize to clear up your patio because we were preparing for a get together where my former officemate, Frank, was invited to play the piano and provide live music.  Caying and I were there to help you carry, sort out, throw, and move packages of assorted stuff.  Funny, but you would ask Caying and me to carry certain packages up into your room, or elsewhere in your house,  or throw them out, only to find out in the end, that we were just moving the packages from one part of the house to the other because you did not seem decided to part any with the stuff. You would reason “ I still have to read that..I still have to use that…I still have to fix that…oh! I was looking for that….etc… In short, we failed to help you organize and get rid of unwanted stuff!  Finally,  we  stopped and ended up laughing with you!

 

Over the last 3-4 years, we wrote each other and exchanged classical music CDs that we both enjoyed.  You never failed to send me scribbled thank you notes when I sent you those kind of CDs.   And I honestly always thought of you, Diche, whenever I came across classical CDs,  because I knew you would be delighted to have them.  That was also my simple way to let you know that I, too, cared and wanted to share simple things with you as a reminder that I was thankful to have you as a sister.  You truly were a very understanding and generous sister in your own way.  I have experienced your giving heart on numerous occasions.  

 

Only last Thursday, November. 12, I received a letter from you along with 2 CDs of piano music.  You wrote that you knew I would like them and surely, I did!   I quickly encoded a reply to you which I was to mail the following Monday and planned to enclose 3 local CDs of Original Pilipino Music.  I wanted to tell you that, for a change, you may want to listen to something new from our local popular artists from the Philippines.   I never knew that your November 8th letter with CDs were to be your final sweet remembrances to me.  

I never guessed you would be gone so suddenly and quietly.  In fact your leaving totally shocked all of us! And even in leaving this world, you so quietly departed --as quiet as you had been in life!.

 

Typical of your nature, you probably felt pains here and there but  never complained to your children.  Again, true to your nature, you probably did not want them to fuss over you, or cause them to worry about your health----that is why you left fast with nary an advanced warning or clue! 

Ditch, I  know you are now happy to meet our dearly departed parents, Ate Josie,  and the other  dear souls who have passed on.  I  know too that you are now at peace, but will still quietly be watching over your children, grandchildren, and the rest of us, your sisters and brother,  who will immensely miss you!  Rest in everlasting peace…you are now beyond physical pains, worries, and hurts , and remember that I will always love you! 

 

This poem is for you… it speaks for all of us!

You never said "I'm leaving"
You never said goodbye
You were gone before we knew it,
And only God knew why

A hundred times we needed you,
A hundred times we will cry
If love alone could have saved you,
You never would have died

In life we loved you dearly
In death we love you still
In our hearts you hold a place,
In one corner that you fill

It broke our hearts to lose you,
But you didn't go alone
For a part of us went with you,
The day God took you home.

So long, and see you again some heavenly day! 
Your sister,
Lita